“We have so programmed the church to function as a well-oiled machine that we leave no room for Christians to be Christians. “
- Brad House, Community, Taking Your Small Groups Off Life Support
a pilgrim's progress
How do you measure a year in a life?
This Applies to People Too
“If you don’t see your mate’s deep flaws and weaknesses and dependencies, you’re not even in the game. But if you don’t get excited about the person your spouse has already grown into and will become, you aren’t tapping into the power of marriage as spiritual friendship.”
— Keller, Timothy (2011-11-01). The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God…On The Five Fold Ministry
“What that creates is chaos. One of the most important things in the church is chaos. It creates a sense of urgency, it fosters creativity, and it forces people to get involved and do something. And when you have lots of different leaders leading in all different directions all for Jesus, there’s going to chaos. And it’s beautiful.”
- Paraphrased, Mark Driscoll, 31 minutes
maybe a post later with my thoughts on the current CCF restructuring process/movement
Indeed, Preacher Man
Look inside get depressed, look outside get distressed, look to Jesus and find rest.
- Bob Weiner
Blag Hag Guest Post: Play Dates, Religion and Knock-Knock Jokes
LINK: Blag Hag Guest Post: Play Dates, Religion and Knock-Knock Jokes.
Making friends as an adult is awkward, slightly less awkward than dating only because there’s rarely sex involved. All the same issues apply. Do we have things in common? Are we compatible emotionally, financially, and ideologically? It’s not like I have list of friendship deal breakers, but I’m a broke, introverted, atheist teacher with an art habit and an 8-year-old. Some friendships just aren’t going to work out.
For my daughter, making friends is still simple. She just marches up to the other kid and says, “Hi. I’m Alice. Let’s be friends.” That’s how she became friends with L. L and her mom J cut through our apartment complex on their walk home from school. Alice, playing outside, befriended L simply by being friendly. Soon L and J were stopping most afternoons to play in the apartments’ common area, and J and I eventually struck up brief conversations about the kids, the weather and preschool.
I was nervous when they invited us over for a play date. When Alice was a toddler and I was a stay-at-home mom, I never hit it off with other parents at the park or story time. None of them ever talked about themselves, sticking instead to the one thing we had in common–our kids. The small talk quickly bored me or made me feel vaguely judged or, worse, vaguely competitive. Our kids were a mask that let us pretend we were all middle class with no political opinions or controversial problems. Sometimes I felt a strong urge to swear or shout, “I have $80 in my checking account! I don’t care about choosing a preschool! I have a master’s degree, for fuck’s sake!”
At J’s, I sat in the living room as anxious as a girl on a blind date, relieved that the house was a little messy and the baby was toddling around in a diaper. Turns out we had a lot in common. We both had daughters and had been both stay-at-home and working moms. She had been a theater major in college–not the same as my creative writing degree, but we both knew Shakespeare, loved art and had often answered the question, “What are you going to do with that degree?” It was a great first play date, and we invited them to an open house at Alice’s dance school the next week. While the girls were in class, J and I had coffee and didn’t talk about our kids. She was smart and funny, talkative but interested in what I had to say. I liked her big curly hair and her openness. It felt like I was making a friend.
On the way home from dance class, L pointed out the car window, “Look, a church.”
Without pause, Alice replied, “I don’t go to church. I’m not ever going.” In the front seat, I kept my eyes on the road and held my breath, thinking, You can’t just jump into a religious discussion on the second play date! You have to ease it into conversation around play date eight or ten after casually swearing and name dropping Chuck Darwin. You’ll offend them and then neither of us will have a new friend.
What matters in friendship, the big or the little things? And which is religion? Is it too big to overcome, something with which we will always hurt or offend each other if we don’t see eye to eye, or is it one of the little things we can agree to disagree about, like reality TV or Thai food? I have friends from a wide spectrum of faith and skepticism—agnostic recovering Catholics; militantly anti-religious atheists; thoughtful, devout Christians; hip young churchgoers who picture Jesus as the sort of guy you could take out for a beer. On hopeful days, I believe we enrich each other’s lives, help each other see the world through a different lens. Other days, I feel only the disconnect between our points of view. When it comes to making friends with other parents, the assumptions we make about each others’ religious views are another mask to get past. I think of a lesbian mom friend saying she doesn’t want to “pass” for straight but is exhausted by having to come out over and over. I feel the same.
In the backseat, they kept it simple. “Well, I’m going to church,” L said. “When I grow up, I’m going to church all the time.”
“Well,” Alice said, “I’m not.” Then they told knock-knock jokes all the way home.
“Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” (Mark 10:15)
and again, children show us that friendship means being true to yourself and your beliefs while respecting each others’ whole person as well. and it is from these relationships of openness & honesty that one may see true personal change.
we are called to be in the world, not of it–and not condemning it either. that is not our right or power. we are called to go and make disciples of all nations–but how will they listen if all we do is stand on soapboxes and rooftops and scream until even our own ears weary of the same dogmatic words?
love is not proselytizing to the people around us, but neither is it love to withhold something so integral to your person from the relationship. it is God who works in us to will and to act according to His good purpose (Philippians 2). we are called & created simply to be His disciples–followers of His example, emulators of His teaching, reflections of His glory.
i fear i fail at communicating my point. with these complicated words i only mean to say that i want to commit to sincerity and intentionality in my relationships: that my friends would know well, truly, and clearly that i both love them and love Jesus, and that the deep endurance of the former springs from the eternal fount of the latter.
Best alarm(s) ever.
[note: i wrote this last night on Tumblr & forgot to cross-post.]
MOC Team is the literal best. in ways both big and small i am continually reminded through them of how much my God seeks to bless and keep me.
i only got ~4.5 hours of [interrupted] sleep last night. & what with MATLAB (it has taken over my life aish) all morning then some working on Reimagination Project stuff with SLam, i was not in good shape by the time it came to tackling tomorrow’s MATLAB assignment for my finite element class. suffice it to say i spent a good 40min KO’d via headdesk in 3rd-floor Davis computer lab. so i decided to come home for nap nap before putting some small group leaders’ lives in my hands. (we went bowling for meeting tonight & i drove.)
but i didn’t want to be late to bowling, despite it being a casual/fun MOC “meeting,” & especially because others’ on-time appearances would depend on my own.
but i was so tired. so dead tired. my eyes almost burned trying to stay open.
half-functional & in bed already, i texted SLam, Pam, Brian, James, & Jon:
Wake me up in an hour please? afraid my nap will go overlong
[5:51pm]
Bri’s response was “I will try to remember,” which i figured would be the norm–hence the multiple recipients.
boyyyyy oh boy did they deliver. each & every one.
Pamela (i’d forgotten she couldn’t even make it out to bowling tonight) first:
Wake up wake up wake uppp!!!!! If you don’t text me back in 10 minutes i’m calling you.
[6:48pm]
James:
haha wake up! ur hour nap is over
[6:52pm]
Sarah:
You awake?!!
[7:00pm]
Brian called me at 6:59pm; Jon at 7:19.
dearest MOC Team: i love you. and i can see that you love me.
Engineering MOC is spearheading website efforts for next week’s IV event(s)
this post is an experiment.
The Nowism of the Gospel
Grace will decimate what you think of you, while it gives you a security of identity you’ve never had.
Grace will expose your deepest sins of heart, while it covers every failure with the blood of Jesus.
Grace will make you face how weak you are, while it blesses you with power beyond your ability to calculate.
Grace will take control out of your hands, while it blesses you with the care of One who plan is unshakable and perfect in every way.
- Paul Tripp
Grace will take control out of your hands, while it blesses you with the care of One whose plan is unshakable and perfect in every way.
Know Your Enemy
I think that too often, whom exactly I am fighting against becomes ambiguous.
When we don’t know who we are fighting, we are prone to friendly fire. Too often, when we think about telling others about Jesus – it suddenly becomes a we versus them. Too often, when we think about standing up for our Biblical convictions – it becomes a we versus…
1) We wage war not against flesh and blood, but against princes and principalities. 2) We were once dead in our trespasses and our sins, saved by the grace of God. I must know my enemy if I am to correctly wage war. I must proclaim Truth boldly, yet with Love. My fight is not with atheists, professors, or the institution of Berkeley. This city, is not my enemy. In fact, atheists, professors, and this city – are whom we have been sent here to be used by God to set free, to heal, and to bless.a good & necessary reminder.
On Counseling
“There is no way to determine what a person ought to do, whether behavior is good or bad, unless we know for what purpose a person was made. is the purpose of the human being to glorify God, pursue individual freedom, or promote honor within his or her family? Each of these examples presumes a distinctive worldview. Science cannot answer the question of human purpose; therefore it cannot by itself provide advice about what people ought to do.”
- Timothy R. Keller
